Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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