Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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