There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
thus making me awesome and them whores
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
