i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
