he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize