i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
