No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
