And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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