So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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