so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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