this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize