Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
