Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
