Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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