its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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