Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
