smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
