Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
