you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
