i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
