I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
