remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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