Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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