yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize