i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
