gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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