Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
