So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just googled if crying burns calories
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
