who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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