CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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