I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize