There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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