Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
