I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
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I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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