I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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