I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize