do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
