hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
