Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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