I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
