The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
