I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
