I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
