what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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