how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
