Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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