we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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