She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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