apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize