Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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