i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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