the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
