I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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