its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just high enough for therapy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
