Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
