Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
