Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
