Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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