Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
