babies were throwing up all over the place
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
