please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
