I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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