Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
