The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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