we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
