Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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