I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize