You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
